Friday, December 24, 2010

Puke Patrol

Since beginning my work with children, bodily fluids and functions have unfortunately become a rather significant part of my daily life.  I am constantly subjected to the horrors of farts, burps, coughs, sneezes, snot, poop, and pee.  On Wednesday, puke entered the equation.  Now don't be fooled.  You can't make it through 4 months at an elementary school without experiencing puke at least once.  I have had some very close calls, but nothing like Wednesday.

With all of the snow we've had lately, the school now has a very large snow hill.  The kids are totally obsessed and completely lose their shit on it daily.  It reminds me of Mean Girls when Lindsey Lohan compares high schoolers to wild African animals.  That's the snow hill.  Kids are leaping and flying and clawing their way around this thing without any regard to other children.  It's a hot mess.

On Wednesday it became even messier when a Kindergartner named D lost his cookies on the the north side of the hill.  The other teacher on duty had witnessed the whole thing and put me in charge of guarding the puke while she went inside to get the custodian.  So for five minutes my job was to stand on the snow hill and make sure children did not play near or on the barf.  Easier said than done.  Kids are much less disgusted by vomit than I am.  The child responsible for the puke seemed to take some kind of pride in it and preceded to lay beside it and tell all of the other kids it was his.  Finally, have what seemed like years of puke patrol, the custodian finally came and loaded the tainted snow into a bucket for disposal.  In retrospect, I guess there is a job worse than puke patrol.

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