Things I often said at my old job:
"Criss cross, apple sauce, hands in your lap."
"I'll start my story when everyone's voices are off."
"Johnny, take a break. You can join us when you're ready to be a good listener."
"Hug your books!"
Things I say at my new job:
"Have you tried to down convert the HD to the SD?" (Yep. I said down convert. Who am I?)
"The network goes live on Wednesday."
"I can't get your signal up until I get your UA number and TID."
"The UA number for PE2 is one digit higher than the UA number for PE1."